Following God

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." ~ Matthew 6:33

So I just got back from a 10-day vacation. It was the first time I have really taken time off from my job since I started over a year ago. It was much needed, a great time to recoup and to refocus on what is important. Although I didn't go anywhere exotic--Orange County, back home--it was exactly what I wanted to do.

One of my "goals" during my vacation was to really focus on God's plan for my life. Per recent posts, I have been struggling with the Pastor decision in regards to timing. I know that God has called me to be a Pastor. I have no doubt about that. But I am questioning His exact timing--is it really necessary that I go right away?--and wanted to use this break to figure out God's will for the next step in my life which will begin less than 10 months from now.

God has, for some reason, chosen to deal with my very directly in life. When I was first called, I heard, quite literally, the voice of God telling me. And there are other times in my life when He has revealed things to me very distinctly. And so I faced this past week with that in mind, hoping that one day, while reading the Bible, or praying, or attending church that God would speak to me and tell me what He wanted me to do.

And so I went to church diligently--four times this past week. And I prayed. And I read the Bible. And I prayed some more, and sang songs and fell asleep reading the Bible. And yet there was no sign from God, no voice telling me what I should do, no vision making it clear.

And I sit here now, on the last day of my vacation, "preparing" for the week ahead of me, and am no further along in my decision than I was 10 days ago.

I started to get concerned about this earlier in the week. I didn't know when I would have another time like last week--and extended break where I could really focus on God's will for my life--again before I really have to make my decision. I don't want to make a decision that is against God's will. And I don't think God would me to do that either. So why didn't God choose to reveal it to me when I wanted?

It was at one point in my study this past week that God put on my heart Matthew 6:33, above. A famous verse that most Christians can quote by heart, and many non-Christians have heard of before, this passage took on new meaning for me this past week as God revealed to me something more important that whether or not He wants me to be a Pastor now or later.

I realized this past week that I was getting so caught up in God's will that I was forgetting what is most important: God, himself. I was so intent on finding out what God wants me to do that I was neglecting to find out more about God.

Whenever I read the Bible, my thoughts were focused more on "I wonder if this verse will be the verse where God chooses to tell me." Whenever I worshipped in church I was listening for that voice that first spoke to me over three years ago. Whenever I prayed, I was telling God what He needed to tell me, and not listening to God about what He wanted to tell me.

God wants us to follow His will. But that is not at the expense of following God, and that is what that verse speaks to. Sometimes we as Christians try so hard to follow what God wants us to do, or where he wants us to go that we forget that what God wants more than all of that is for us to follow Him. That He is more important that what He wants us to do or where He wants us to go. And that by following Him, He will reveal--in his time--all of these other things.

"Seek first," He says, "Seek first His kingdom and his righteousness." In other words, seek God. I need to seek God. I need to study his word without thinking what I'm going to get out of it--and instead study it to get a better understanding of God. I need to pray to God because He wants me to talk to Him. And I need to worship God because God deserves worshipping.

And God promises that as a by-product of all of this, as a result of following Him, "all these things will be given to you as well." God grants us the desires of our hearts. He gives us what we need. He reveals to us His plans for us. But that is only after we follow Him--and only Him.

Of course God wants me to know His plan for my life. And when He sees it fit He will reveal it to me in the way that He wants me to know. It might be by closing doors in one direction or another. It might be by saying nothing as I, on my own, continue along the path that I think He wants me to, thereby letting me know I'm doing what is right. Or He might choose to open up the Heavens and let me know directly. However He chooses, I will be ready--but let me work to not focus on where I'm going and instead on Him.

Let me seek, first, Him. And have confidence that in time all of that other stuff will be revealed.