The Touch

Trust in the Lord your God with all your heart... ~ Proverbs 3:5

I saw a scene recently that really struck me and really made me think.

I was on my way to the gym and saw a blind woman on the sidewalk waiting for a bus. Next to her side was her guide-dog--a golden retriever. As I walked past the pair, I glanced at the dog, expecting to see the woman's hands grabbing tightly onto the dog's leash. Instead, she barely appeared to be touching the dog at all. Indeed, she only had two fingers extended and they were lightly touching just a few strands of fur on the neck of the dog--she wasn't even touching the dog's skin. For the dog, I'm sure it felt as nothing more than the hint of a touch. Indeed, the dog was being held back by absolutely nothing. And, if it chose, it could run off after any car that was passing by.

Yet it didn't. It stayed right there.

I know that if I were in that woman's place, I would do everything that I could to ensure that the dog--my companion and only means of getting around--stayed right there by me. At the very least, I know that I would be gripping onto the dog's collar or leash with all my might. But, more likely, I would be sitting down on the curb right next to the dog with my hands around its neck.

What struck me as I watched this was the faith that this woman had in her dog. She knew that this dog was not going to leave her side. This faith was developed from years of experience with the dog. When she first got him, I'm sure she held onto the dog's leash, making sure it was always by her side. But as time wore on, she knew that she could trust the dog--her companion wouldn't leave her. And so, she gradually learned to loosen her grip on the leash until she had so much faith in it that she let go altogether. In fact, although I can't be certain, I would even argue to say that the reason she touched the dog so lightly was not so that she would be certain that the dog was still there--but rather to let the dog know that she was still there, so as to remind him of her presence and assure him that he wasn't abandoned. In that hint of a touch, the dog was comforted.

As I reflected this woman's faith in her dog, I started to became very ashamed of my faith in God. Like this woman, I have Something at my side that has proved Itself time and time again. A loyal Companion that has never left me through the years. And not just any Companion. I have standing next to me every day the Creator of the Heavens and the Earth. God Almighty. Ruler of all creation. The Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. The Savior. A God that has taken me through every struggle, every trial and every hard time I have ever faced in my life. "Through many troubles, toils and snares I have already come," the hymnist writes. And it is by the grace of God that I have made it through them all.

And yet, day after day, I still doubt and question. Time after time I fail to trust God. He has never given me any reason to not believe that He will be by my side. And yet I still fail Him. Constantly. I know that He will provide...and yet I fail to trust Him with my finances. I know that His will is always best...and yet I fail Him with my decisions. I know that He will give me the words when I share Him with others...and yet I fail Him with spreading the Gospel. I know that He is there. And yet I fail to lean on him and fail to let him guide me. And, instead, I wander aimlessly. I wander blindly.

Reflecting further on this, I was overwhelmed by another thing: despite my failings, I was struck by how much God still trusts me.

In many ways, I saw God as the Master, and myself as the guide-dog. But the absolute worst guide-dog man has even seen. The kind that you wouldn't trust to give to someone with 20-20 vision. A dog who runs away at the first chance he gets, the second his master lets him free--and even sometimes when he doesn't.

But God hasn't given up on me. He hasn't retired me, sent me back to the kennel, and gotten a new guide-dog. Quite to the contrary, every day He gives me more opportunities to trust Him. Even when I don't deserve it, He still lets me free.

Even though I haven't trusted Him with my finances, he gives me a paycheck every month. Even though I doubt His will, He still lets me make my own decisions. Even though I fear spreading His word to others, he still gives me daily new opportunities to tell others about Jesus.

Even though every morning I run away from Him and after the first thing that catches my eye, every night He welcomes me back with open arms and a great big hug.

If I had a dog that misbehaved as much as I do, I would tie it to a tree in my back yard with a 12-inch steel pole.

But not God. Every morning He brings me outside to the sidewalk and lets me go, leaving me free to do as I choose.

Most times I take off running and don't look back as I pursue everything that I shouldn't, leaving my God on the sidewalk, waiting for me to return.

But recently, as my faith has matured and I have grown deeper in the knowledge of God, I decide, every once in a while, to not leave so quickly or wander so far. Instead, I am learning, a little bit each day, to stay a little bit closer to the Master.

And when I do stay a bit closer to my God, something amazing happens. Ever so softly, ever so gracefully, there is a touch--not even a touch, but a gentle hint of a touch--on the back of my neck. And the closer I stay to God the more frequently this happens. It is in these times that I realized that I have received something truly special. For God has reached down, and I have felt His touch--the touch of the Master.

And in that touch, I am comforted in the thought that my God is there--and reminded again to trust in Him.